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How to Pee

This is an interesting question and one I'm asked a lot on boats and courses.

The answer is not one your expecting...

1. It is crucial that you do not allow your body to become dehydrated prior to, during and post diving - You are considerably more likely to Bend.
2. It is definitely a serious problem to be busting for a pee on a stop as that can cause serious Renal Problems - and also increase your risk of Bending.
3. On long dives (runtimes over 90mins), you must make provision on open circuit diving to rehydrate in water - do not try this without running through procedures for this with your instructor
4. When you really want to pee you must - no debate - even if that is filling your suit - hey it could have been the zip couldn't it :-) BUT don't put the undersuit on the bunkhouse radiator - you'll get chucked overboard in an hour or two...
5. Many commercial divers swear by nappies - I don't - wet things next to your skin even if they have a small hydrophobic membrane is not a good idea in my way of thinking. It is crucial during deco you remain warm - all over - and that your undergarments have considerable wicking properties to keep your body perspiration away from you...
6. Pee Valves are available in two general forms (we'll talk about sexes in a mo) - Balanced and Un-Balanced. Basically the Balanced takes care of the good old Boyle's Law, and the Unbalanced causes your body bits discomfort if you don't have good control :-)
7. Go for the Balanced System - OMS have a stunning new automatic Balanced Pee Valve system (for example) which we would recommend. Cut a small hole in your Dry Suit between 15cm and 25cm down and outwards from your groin so it is just on the outter edge of your inside of your leg (left or right), glue the washers on to the suit (Inside and Outside), fit both sides of the valve and tighten according to the manufacturers fitting instructions, put on the hose to this assembly then about 7.5cm to 10cm down from the Pee Valve hole cut a hole in your base layers/Undersuit and stitch them up in a button hole style - run the tube up to your groin and that is then ready to be attatched to the catheter/condom sheath on the dive
8. If your valve is unbalanced then start to pee - build a little pressure then reach down open valve - pee then when finished closed valve. If you don't build up a little pressure then when you open the valve your bits will feel the cold water big time when you open the valve. Balanced system oh just smile and pee.
9. Males - wear a sheath which is like a condom with glue and a connection port at the business end. These are sized though and order them without your so called mates around (unless you want to boast), you must get the right size when you're all limp and cold otherwise you will pee everywhere but through the valve!
10. Female versions are on the market and we have yet to see uptake in earnest - essentially it is a sterile catheter - you must be very careful with self catheterisation - clean hands and sterile catheters are crucial and the suppliers have this well sorted. The same procedure for peeing is as above. Peeing before a dive can be tricky on a Rib or small boat... unlike the boys. If your 18 and over take a look at techniques that work.
11. Don't homebrew make these and if you are not sure about where to fit them ask your local dive store. A fellow instructor rolled off the Rib and left his valve behind along with a bit of his suit and it very amusingly pulled the sheath off too - we were all in stitches and so was the coastguard for the medical cover needed when we got back in to shore!!!

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